Let them go.

Advice #2

"Have you ever been hated or discriminated against?
I have. I've been protested and demonstrated against."

-Eminem, "Cleanin' Out My Closet"

Are you being bullied? Are you being hurt by the ones you love? Have you been abused, physically or mentally? Has there been any other situation, where you were the victim?

(Now don't get me wrong, there are oftentimes when somebody states that they're the victim, when they in actuality aren't. I'm trusting you to know the difference between honesty and open-mindedness and slang and ignorance.)

Now, let's look at one of the most popular instances where somebody gets hurt, whether it's physically or mentally, that eventually leads to self-inflicted harm, which is being bullied and betrayed by those closest to you. Maybe it's a friend or a family member, or even just a stranger you know, but it will happen. The first step to healing is accepting that these things will happen. Now I want to cover one very specific type of bullying.

Have you ever had a friend who you were really close to? As if you wanted to trust that person with everything you had, and give them the benefit of the doubt? Have you hoped that the person you met was the  person you could do anything for, and get it in return, so badly, that the only thing keeping you close to them was the hope that they would fulfill that emptiness, that void? Most often it's "close" friends, and I quote "friends", because in this case, they aren't, the won't be, and they never were.

Have you felt left out in a group of friends? Or, how about you felt that you were second on your friend's priority list. Now this applies to both guys and girls, because surprisingly, this happens extremely often with guys.

So, let's say you have this void. This emotional emptiness, a need for somebody to be there to help you through the world, somebody to have your back. A personal dependency on another person for thriving in life? This is so unhealthy. So unhealthy. So, if it's so bad for us, then why do we have this emotional dependency? Because we're human. We thrive in lively environments, and from the beginning of our lives, we've constantly been around people. But as you get older, you become more independant and you start to develop a mind of your own, your own ideas, your own thoughts. Your parents grow more distant in your relationship with them, and sometimes it's even a sibling this happens with, and you start looking for new, exciting people to help you in your journey. We become curious about everything, but when we start to be on our own more often, we begin to realize how much of a scary place the world really is. You feel alone, and you yearn for somebody's company, somebody to protect you, just like you had when you were a kid.

So now, you're at school, (this applies to homeschooled kids too, but I'll get into that a little later since it's a bit different.) and you're scared, you're unhappy because it's so damn early, and you want something to make your day better, so we depend on other people to help us with that. We make friends, or try to at least, and you eventually become so close to somebody that they give you a reason to look forward to waking up. You get each other, you love the other's company, you have fun, and you become more outgoing. You hang out with more people, but next thing you know, you see your best friend hanging out with some other people. Sure, it hurts a bit, but you blow it off. It'll be over with by tomorrow.

But it isn't.

They keep hanging out with other people, they keep telling inside jokes that you don't know, when you're two feet in front of them. And it makes you wonder, "how the hell could you have changed so much?" because you two used to be the ones with the inside jokes. You two drift apart and you get lonely, torn apart by the fact that they're leaving you. Was what you two had really so fake? Did it really mean so little to them that they could just forget you like that? But people change. They really do. And it's a scary thought when you're in the world by yourself.

So one day, you've had the worst day possible, and the fact that you're depressed because they've seemed to forget you altogether makes it ten times worse, so you ask for a hug. But they don't hear you. They're having another conversation that never involved you, and they walk away.
You're broken.

*Now, if you're homeschooled, you may feel like crap because you don't have anybody to confide in. But if this is the case, convince your parents to let you take a couple outside classes to not only get you out of the house and meet new people, but to help you learn something new. Maybe an instrument or a martial art, it doesn't matter. Meeting people really helps you find out who you are and who you want to be. Take it from somebody that's seen it from both sides of the veil. ;)

Now, this is going to happen in life. It's a given. But equipping yourself to handle things like this is going to make it so much easier to get over this roadblock. It's just another learning experience, right?

1. Reassure yourself.
You have to, and I can't stress this enough, have to give yourself a few pep-talks. Maybe it's just a comforting sentence or a word you liked, or an inspirational song or book character maybe. Maybe it's your idol and how what they went through can help you. But you have to find ways to make yourself feel better. You cannot depend on others for emotional satisfaction, take it from somebody who's lost so much.
Force yourself to look at the bright side. Don't think of it as forever alone, think of it as a learning experience. Find ways to improve yourself, because you're all you can really depend on. Find comfort in little things, and find (healthy) things to do to keep your mind off the negatives. Anybody can see the negatives, but it takes a really special mind to see the positive side.

2. Exercise.
Seriously, even if it's just once or twice a week, working yourself hard makes you feel SO much better. Punching a punching bag, jumping rope, or even just stretching can make you feel so relaxed, and really help release the pent-up negativity you have built up. Because getting rid of the negatives are the first steps in letting go.

3.Take control.
If your thoughts plague you, don't let them. You need to remember that you control what you think and how you feel, nobody else. Other people influence it, but it's up to you whether it affects you or not. So don't let it. Force yourself to stop thinking about what bothers you so much, and find something relaxing or fun to do. Do something comforting and out of the ordinary. It'll help a broken heart.

4. Let them go.
Prepare yourself for the worst--it's bound to happen and you know it. If anybody special to you forgets you're alive, it's incredibly difficult, especially when you had such high expectations of somebody you thought you could trust. But you have to let them go. If you have to change yourself to be around them, you don't need them in your life. Losing yourself is so easy around judgmental people, because you subconsciously  mold yourself to fit their desires and what they like. Stereotypes and peer pressure are hard to overcome, but you can do it. You have to let them go. If they don't care about you, there's no use keeping them in your life. If they could so easily move on from something special, they aren't a quality person to be completely honest. You know you deserve better, or even if you don't think you do, you really do. Be yourself, but most of all, let them go. If they chose to walk out of your life, let them. I promise you that in the long run, it'll be so beneficial for you, because not only will it open your mind up to new possibilities, but it will help you re-discover yourself and who you really want to be.

-Evie

Inspiration For the Day

Do something different today.

-Write on a piece of paper the most beautiful compliment you can think of, and when you go outside, give it to the first person you see. Just give it to them and walk away.

-Smile. Legitimately smile.

-Take a minute to look. Just look. Look at the flowers, look at the sky. Look at the trees, watch people. Listen to conversations, and just take life in. Think about your place, and how lucky you are to be where you're standing. Somebody else might not have the luxury to.

-Be thankful. For everything. Be thankful you can see, be thankful you can eat and walk. Be thankful for your cat, or for the butterflies. Be thankful you have clothes on your back. You might not have many, but you do have some.

-Don't worry about the future. Take a day and live in the moment. Go to the park with some friends and swing on the kid swings, live loud, have fun. Save worrying for another day.

-If you're at work today, enjoy your job. I don't care if you sincerely hate your job, find little things you like about it today. Maybe you like seeing somebody, or even listening to the radio on the way there. Just enjoy it.

-Listen. Listen to a stranger's story, listen to an opinion you would disregard otherwise. It may surprise you what you learn.

-Do something courageous. Pay for a stranger's lunch, ask out somebody you've been dying to. Ask a stranger for a hug, compliment the ugliest person you see. Find beauty in the dark, and today, I want you to enjoy life. Buy your favorite candy just for the hell of it, go out and spend money on a dress you've been dying for. Have fun and be spontaneous today. Plan a cruise or go to the gym. Go out and sing karaoke.
Do something out of the ordinary.

-Be happy. When I look around, I see people rushing, worrying, people that are genuinely stressed out, and what I rarely see is a legitimately happy person. Nobody is taking time to relax and enjoy life anymore, and I want you to help change that today.

But most of all, enjoy today. Because you never know when your last day might be. Don't make today another wasted, memory-less day. Make it a day to remember, and the start of something good. Because if you start making a difference in your own life today, you may be making a huge difference for somebody else tomorrow.

-Evie♥

Start With Something Small

Advice #1:

Some of the dumbest things seem so difficult. Breathing, talking, walking. But focusing on one, one of the all time hardest things to is get up in the morning. Whether it's for school or for work, or just getting up from a nap, there comes a time when getting up seems impossible. But it's not getting up that's the issue, it's finding reasons to get up. But my bed is so warm, maybe I can afford a few more minutes of sleep..
But sometimes it's more than that. Maybe it's because there would be no point of getting up, if all you're doing is a routine. Today will be exactly the same as yesterday, what's the point of even starting it?
This is a horrible state of mind to be in. Because if you're persuading yourself to stay in bed, what's the point of living? But maybe that's it. Maybe you don't want to get up because you don't want to live, because life sucks. You'd be surprised how many people hate waking up, but generally that's the sign of insomnia, a bad day or even something as severe as depression. And when I say depression, I don't mean oh, I had such a bad day today I'm depressed, because we all have those days, but I mean a legitimate struggle to find anything good in life anymore. The complete lack of a reason to live. Maybe you have low self-esteem because you were picked on as a kid. Or maybe you have low-self esteem because you pick on yourself, and not only as a kid, because that's when the habit began, but every single day. Constantly degraded by yourself, a prisoner in your own mind. It's literally living hell, so why should you get up?

Getting up in the morning sounds so simple, yet it's so easy to talk yourself out of it. But what can you do to maybe look at the reasons to get up instead of persuading yourself out of it, that would make it easier.

What if you slept better? Can you remember the last dream you had, and was it vivid? Maybe your dreams are constant, vivid nightmares, or maybe just a little twisted and faded. Maybe they're blurry, or maybe you can't even remember the last time you had a dream, it was so long ago. But there's this really strange trick that I guarantee will make you feel so much better, because it's not only dreams or the lack thereof that affect you, but it's how you feel when you do wake up. So here are some incredibly (and stupidly) simple modifications you can make to help yourself feel better when you go to bed and when you wake up.

1. Sleep an odd number of hours.
Why? Hell, I don't know. I heard it from a trusted nurse after having insomnia and lack of dreams (or when I did have them, nightmares) for about a two-month period after years of good dreams, and she told me to sleep an odd number of hours until my alarm went off. I highly recommend 7, somehow it seems to be a lucky number or something, because when I woke up after sleeping 7 hours I actually felt rested. It was unbelievable, because I remembered my dreams, and they were good dreams. I had slept well for the first time in a couple months, and it was a miracle.

2. Drink a sh*tload of water the day before.
Yes, you'll have to pee a lot more than usual, which is aggravating, I know, but if you have ever woken up with chest pains like I have, it's because of dehydration. Dehydration is also a known cause for insomnia and depression, along with really unhealthy skin and blood. In other words, no fun.

3. Wash your bed. The whole freaking thing.
Wash your blankets, all of them, wash your comforter, your sheets, any pillowcases and any pillows you have. And when you put them in the dryer, add your favorite scent softener sheets. Then, when you're done, make the bed. When you go to sleep that night, it'll be so f*cking comfy, I can't even begin to explain it. Your pillows will be super-fluffed, and your blankets will be so incredibly soft, it'll be like riding a unicorn on a rainbow while going to heaven. Seriously.

4. Make small goals for yourself.
Why should you get up in the morning? Well why the hell not? You were obviously born for some reason, so why waste sunlight you could change the world in? Make small goals and start with something small; When you wake up, set a goal. Turn off alarm. Complete. Seconds into your day and you already accomplished something, look at that! Next, maybe make coffee or eat. Shower, listen to music. Make sure to put your alarm out of reach too, so you have to get up to turn it off instead of staying in bed. If you can't find reasons to get up, make reasons. I don't care if it's to wear a specific shirt or because you can have lunch with a specific person. But find your drive, and every day those accomplishments will build up. Don't look at what you haven't done, look at what you did do, and what you can do. Because if you can find reasons to get up in the morning, and make that day worthwhile (because you definitely can, trust me), do it. The day won't be special until you make it special.

So do something weird or out of routine. Breaking routine and getting up may be the beginning of a completely new outlook on life.

-Evie

Introductions are Crap

The title says it all, I personally think introductions are crap. But this is a project I've actually been wanting to do for a while, I just didn't know when or how. This is a blog, obviously. But I want it to be so much more than that. I want to i-n-s-p-i-r-e. I want this to be the one project I follow through with, and I want to be proud of it. So I guess by giving advice I'm learning, and I think this blog is gonna be beneficial for both of us it this turns out like I hope it does.

Bear with me; it's my first time around too.

And a fair warning;
I can be unpredictable, contradictory, confusing, scary, loving, and the weirdest person you'll ever meet,
but I'm a hell of a lot wiser than anybody my age should ever be.

So I hope you'll stay on this path with me. I'm not here to vent or to post random crap that isn't important. I'm here to change lives, and I really hope that I can help somebody.

-Evie