Beneath the Surface

Advice #9

Beauty. 

How many times have you looked in the mirror, and looking back at the person staring at you, just given up? So used to the let down of seeing somebody you don't truly feel like walk around as the mask you show the world?

Well look beneath that.

I know you've heard this before. We've all heard this before. But I don't know about you, but I've never been called pretty by a three-year old in Wal-Mart. I've always struggled with my image, being the younger sibling of somebody whom I've always seen as the pretty one, because not only was I told that by my mom and everybody around me, but it's what I think too. Not what I thought, but what still, to this day, believe in my heart.

But I know that true beauty isn't what you see at first glance. It never had been, and it never will be.

When you look at somebody, first glance, what do you see? Even if it's only for a split-second, you already have an image of what they look like, an opinion about them. You see their hair, or maybe the way their nose is shaped. But they look away, you look away, and you carry on.
But what you've just done, is taken somebody clean apart, analyzed them, and put them back together. In that split second that you saw them, you've completely judged them. And that's exactly what you've just done. You've judged somebody you know nothing about, except for what you've just seen.

Now I don't care if you're a saint, a priest or a monk. You're judging people constantly, and this is a part of natural human instinct. We judge people; and what it is, is that there's so much mystery around us, so much that we don't know--how the world was made, why we're here, what humans are, how we came here, what created us, or even if we're real-- that we're desperately trying to figure it out. You may be doing it subconsciously, but you're trying to figure out one of the only things you have even a little bit of power over. You're trying to figure that person out by first glance, taking in as much information about them as readily available.

But who are you to judge somebody?
This really struck me when a couple days ago I went out looking terrible. I was sick out of my mind that day, and normally I don't go in public unless I look (at least to my standards) good. I cannot tell you how many people stared at me for that second too long, trying to figure out why I looked that way. I cannot tell you how many people looked at me in disgust for having my hair messed up, sniffling around the store barely able to move because I was in excruciating pain just walking. I was getting medicine, but these people didn't care. They took me apart, judged me, and walked away with a negative opinion about me, right in front of me. Just because I was sick. And you know, half the people that saw me probably didn't even care enough to bother thinking I might have been in some kind of pain. They just judged me by what they saw, which was an unacceptable human being to be seen in public. Nobody cares about your story, all they care about is the benefit they get by seeing somebody pretty.

Now let's be honest - we've all done this, we all do this, and we're all going to do this. But I want you to take a minute and be honest with me. Have you ever seen somebody walking on the sidewalk, who's severely overweight? What did you think about them? Most people would look and say "ew, get a life you pig", but what they don't know is that this person has a severe auto-immune disorder that prohibits them from exercising because most days they're in so much pain they can barely move. For this person, it's miracle that they're even walking, but you, just looking at the surface, all you care about is that they're fat.

So what I want you to do for me, is that when you see somebody, don't just take that first glance and think that's enough. Look at that person. Really look. Watch how they move, look at how they think about things. I want you, no matter who you're looking at, to go below the surface of their face. Look at their features and how they hold themselves. Are they lost? Are they confident? So this way if you judge somebody, you can at least give this person a little effort. You never know what you might find.

A couple people I know always tell me I have horrible taste in men. But what they're looking at, again, is just the surface. They're looking for pure eye-candy. But I'm looking for that person, that when their face is angled just right, they're the most beautiful person in the world. Not when they walk around, but somebody that takes effort to see the beauty in, so that way I never stop looking for it, and I'll never stop finding it.


I really hope this advice will be useful to you. This is one of the biggest ones I stress, because looking at people like I mentioned before like Benedict Cumberbatch and Jared Padalecki, these are people who you have to really look to see how beautiful they are. But once you've paid somebody enough attention to find them in their best moments, I can assure you the world will repay you by giving you the same respect. ♥

And also, don't forget to find this beauty within yourself. I don't care how low your self-esteem is, I can assure you there are 100 things I can find in you that are beautiful, just in the way you handle yourself.

Keep your head held high, stranger.♥

-Evie